I’m back at home, outwardly working on a resuming a back-to-school routine, inwardly working on not freaking-the-freak out (you know what I’m really saying here). I gave myself until the end of August to enjoy summer and allow for the Universe to show me the next steps. While I write this, there are two days left in August and I’m trying to keep calm and keep the faith (I imagine I unknowingly just quoted a pillow case or bumper sticker).
The problem is I am no clearer on how to financially support my family while maintaining my heartfelt interest in helping others, and only 48 hours remain before I promised my husband that I would update my resume and start searching the want ads. The mere mention of the word “resume” makes me want to sell our house and move down to SC to live with my parents (who have extended no such offer).
Thankfully, my brain knows better than to respond from fear. Everything that I’ve read (thank you brain), and all that I know and believe (thank you heart), tells me that things are happening as they should be. Everything that is, is all that is needed. The All-Knowing knows all, including my desires and dreams for the future. My role now is only to surrender, accept what is, and look for opportunities to pursue what could be.
Which sounds great, right?! But let’s get real…sustaining these thoughts can be so-damn-ridiculously-outrageously-unnaturally-tough during times when our eyes are saying “Hey delusional dimwit (g-rated version). Take off those rainbow colored glasses and look around. Nothing is happening here moron!!!”
Seeing is believing. This is true. Sometimes though, we have to believe before we see. In those times, we need to rely on reassuring thoughts more than tactile senses. Ok fine. But in those trying times of believing before seeing, how is it that we stave off the internal, quiet sufferings of doubt, impatience, uncertainty, and even just plain ole rationality?
What I know for sure is that it’s an active process. I’m faaaar from mastering it, but here’s how I’m currently finding (sometimes faking) peace with uncertainty:
- Listening to Oprah’s SuperSoul Conversations podcasts
- Listening to Wayne Dyer’s podcast on the Tao Te Ching
- Reading Ainslie MacLeod’s book on purpose called The Instruction
- Applying the principles learned in Power vs. Force
- Taking quiet walks alone
- Meditating 2 times a day
- Sleeping 7-8 hours, waking and writing down my dreams
- Asking for help and support from my angels and the Holy Spirit
- Talking and texting with friends and family
- Constantly, consistently reminding myself not to freak out, to breathe and believe, and that all is ok because answers are on the way
Just like with believing, being patient in the in-between is an active process because it’s an ongoing one. It’s a choice we have to make over and over again.
It can be exhausting. It requires stamina. Sometimes we may need eye masks and even ear plugs. But it’s worth the effort…which is what I will keep reminding myself. Because if I have to ready my resume (barf!), I’m going to need to re-read this post. A lot. And maybe yell out a few vulgar curse words on my next walk in the woods. Yeah, definitely that too.
With loving gratitudes,